It was really bad idea to talk about language courses with my dad now... I can change my life and move and I don't wanna be stopped with his "this is for emergency situation". I should have talked with my grandfather at first, it's his money anyway >___<
I know what's the problem with my parents - they are scared of changes. But I'm not. I don't wanna live like they do.
I don't wanna tell my children that all men are moral monsters as my mom does.
I don't wanna tell my children about my own lovers as my dad does.
Anyway I'm really upset now because of his reaction...
I can be selfish, I really can. I am tired to think about them, I wanna have my own life with my rules.
I can. No matter what.

Time to move my ass and do the housework.
And fanproject, of course.
That's what I need now.